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Hetalia x Scary! Depressed! Reader: Self-Inflicted Achromatic

I want to be a person just like you, don't you see?
I want to be a person who is still being "me"

A tired sigh escaped your lips. You were just so damn tired. The other countries said that you, (f/n) or (c/n), was scarier than Russia himself. But of course, you have lived 2500 years with wars and bloodshed always trailing after you. You just really want to be happy. But all those wars and blood imprinted on your mind, you really just released off a dark (a/c) aura and a stoic atmosphere.

It really would be nice but I'm paying a price
'Cause I'd really, not be me and that would not suffice

You asked yourself, "I know my face doesn't show my pain. But isn't it obvious in my eyes? I'm lonely and hurt" You rubbed your numb (s/c) wrist, yesterday's cuts still had a colorless ache to it. You picked your silver knife, twirling it around watching the others argue. The said knife is the one you also use to cut yourself.

A dream which is an easy task I won't deny
But it'd be fine if people just like me would go and die

You were a dreamer. A dreamer chained to cold hard reality. You believed in that people become stars when they die. And you wanted to be a star to explore the universe. And it really hurt that cared for all the nations but they don't give a single flying fuck for you. You really did want to disappear .

If I am this way I would never want to stay
Tens of thousands of people would be sad and cry
No one here wanting me, please don't say you don't agree
Wishing for a world hiding from my seeking eye

You wanted to disappear if pain was only going to be the fruit of being a nation. You wondered to yourself, "If I'd die, would someone cry?" Why did I even ask? None, definitely none. They don't care for you, it's just hypocritical pity. Everyday you wanted to hide. Hide from reality.

If I am this way please just wipe me into gray
Hundreds of millions of people would be glad and shine
No one here hating me, that would be so nice to see
But that kind of joy will never intertwine

"The meeting's adjourned!" Germany voice rang out, snapping you out of your thoughts. Everyone started to rise, excluding you. You didn't rise up nor fix your things. Your blank (e/c) started ahead the wooden table. You heard rumors and murmurs mostly about how you killed people in the past. But past is past, right? So why can't they move on?

Tomorrow I will still be dreaming half awake
And I am hoping I can disappear in such a state

~P.O.V. SWITCH~

England rose up as soon as Germany adjourned the meeting. Fighting with that Frog and burgerhead was more tiring than usual. He took no time and quickly sped walked out of the room. The familiar scent of the cold and rain entered his nostrils, informing him of the rain. He searched for his umbrella. "What the- Where's umbrella?" He looked for his umbrella on the umbrella stand in the lobby. But his search was senseless seeing as he remembered the umbrella in the Meeting Room.

If I'd live this way I would never want to stay
Hundreds of millions of people wouldn't even know
No one here wanting me, please don't say you don't agree
Would a world like that be a "yes" or be a "no"?

He took the elevator back up. Scowling, "Bloody hell, I must be getting old." He walked back to the Conference Room. As he put his hand on the handle, he felt a really strong, depressing aura. He took caution, slowly opening the room. He looked around until he felt a presence next to him. Surprised, he turning his head to (c/n), who was leaning on the door hugging her legs to her chest as her head was buried in her knees.

If I'd live this way and you'd wipe me into gray
Hundreds of millions of people wouldn't change at all
No one would hate on me, that would be so nice to see
Nothing would change 'cause I am losing where I fall

She became alerted of the Brit's presence, and stood up, left without any words spoken. England saw a small tear slip from her shine less (e/c) eyes, illusion or not, he didn't know. She did seem to have the weight of the world on her shoulders though, he observed.

~P.O.V SWITCH~

You were just over. You gave them this chance, to see your pain. America did say, that if you started to socialize, it's the end of the world. And you did try to talk today, somehow. First was Italy, you were to approach him when he noticed your presence and ran away. Second was Latvia, from a 30-mile radius he fainted, once sensing your presence. After that you gave up. And they didn't observed nor sensing it. Fools.

In the end, I know that everyone will be broken in similar ways
And "My Self" that's made in everyone crumbles because we are just a disgrace
In the end, I know that everyone will be scattered in similar ways

If I am this way I would never want to stay
Tell me, 'cause I wanna know just why you smile so much?
Really, when you are smiling like that
I will forget all the time I am sad
And these too, all my reasons for saying good-bye
They just failed me and now I am falling to cry

If I'd live this way and you'd wipe me into gray
Hundreds of millions of people wouldn't change at all
With something stopping me, maybe that's my chance to flee?
You facing me I cannot smile but just move on
I'm still not done with this. My hand slipped and I clicked "Submit" Part 2 anyone?


EDIT(12/12/14): Hey, guys? Can you wait a little longer for part 2? I still have exames next week(16,17,18), plus the Christmas Party right after the exams on 18? Since Friday next week's the start of our Christmas, I still have to type up up part 2, sooo can you wait?

EDIT(12/28/14): Part 2's out now! hispanicgirl1313.deviantart.co…
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:iconsadeber:
Sadeber Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2016
lol i was listening to joydreamers cover (it has the same lyrics as this)
and i got done exactly when the song ended lol
Reply
:iconcinnamonpie29594:
CinnamonPie29594 Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
;-; this is sad but the song fits so well

your work is so good! :D
Reply
:iconbilliamme:
Billiamme Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2016  Student Writer
Keep going. You're brilliant!
Reply
:iconwingsofpotatoes:
WingsOfPotatoes Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2015  Student Digital Artist
This song is my jam :'D plus it's relatable as hell
Reply
:iconanimegirl1335:
Animegirl1335 Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2014
Part 2 please!
Reply
:iconstrongandfluffy:
Strongandfluffy Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2014
Part 2?
Reply
:iconanimefreak3588:
animefreak3588 Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2014
Part 2 please
Reply
:iconmicomenchi:
MicoMenchi Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2014
Please do part 2?
Reply
:iconedriannekirby:
edriannekirby Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2014  Student Writer
Part 2! Plz
Reply
:iconxironrose:
Xironrose Featured By Owner Oct 29, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
This is really great! You should continue:)
Reply
:iconchugoku-4-life:
Chugoku-4-life Featured By Owner Oct 29, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Yes pleaseLlama Emoji-37 (Teehee) [V2] 
Reply
:icontheinfinitedreamer:
TheInfiniteDreamer Featured By Owner Oct 29, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
Yes, part 2 please? This is a really good fic and this is my favorite song. Good job!
Reply
:iconmoonlighttalon:
moonlighttalon Featured By Owner Oct 29, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Part 2 please~
Reply
:iconiluv2camp99:
iluv2camp99 Featured By Owner Oct 29, 2014  Hobbyist Filmographer
Will there be a continuation to this story?
Reply
:iconblossemfall:
Blossemfall Featured By Owner Oct 29, 2014
Yes. Please do part two!
Reply
:iconmidnightestrella:
Midnightestrella Featured By Owner Oct 29, 2014  Student Artist
Aw, its Joy Dreamer's english cover!!~ This was nicely written, something i could relate to. Thank you for writing this!~
Reply
:iconcinnabunny2002:
cinnabunny2002 Featured By Owner Oct 29, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Part 2 please? ;~;
Reply
:iconamie2004:
Amie2004 Featured By Owner Oct 29, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
Part 2 please? I will stay alert ;; *watches you*
Reply
:iconkirutetsuya:
KiruTetsuya Featured By Owner Oct 29, 2014
Part 2 ? ;; □ ;;
Reply
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October 25, 2014
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